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Dad is fat

by Gaffigan, Jim (Author)

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Summary

"In Dad is Fat, stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan, who's best known for his legendary riffs on Hot Pockets, bacon, manatees, and McDonald's, expresses all the joys and horrors of life with five young children--everything from cousins ("celebrities for little kids") to toddlers' communication skills ("t... Full description

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Table of Contents:
  • Letter to my children
  • Who's who in the cast
  • Rue the day
  • "Drinking the Kool-Aid"
  • Family-friendly
  • Have children : the condition
  • The Lone Ranger
  • Anti-family
  • I confess
  • Happy days are here again
  • The pharaoh and the slave
  • Vice president
  • My dad, the professional wrestler
  • The narcissist's guide to babies and toddlers
  • When women get lazy
  • Oh my God, you're pregnant?
  • Witchcraft
  • Newbornland
  • Dogfight
  • Circumcision
  • The invasion
  • Eat the coleslaw!
  • Toddlerhood
  • The evil within
  • Secrets and lies
  • A critical analysis of children's literature
  • No further questions
  • Bring in da noise
  • The Chud people
  • Monsters
  • Nothing in common
  • Hotel New York City
  • Vamanos
  • Is it too soon to start dating again?
  • I'll be your tour guide
  • Pale force
  • Learnin' them
  • A self-portrait
  • Your special day
  • Losing my religion
  • No such thing as a free babysitter
  • How to put five kids to bed in a two-bedroom apartment
  • Negotiating with terrorists
  • My former bed
  • Morning has been broken
  • Naps are payday loans
  • Get married, have kids, get fat
  • Hand-in-mouth disease
  • We need bread
  • You win, McDonald's
  • How sweet it is
  • 'Tis the season
  • My other family
  • Are you done yet?
  • Six kids, Catholic
  • The great white baby
  • The mousetrap
  • Picture this
  • Snow job
  • On the road again
  • Eskimo pies
  • You're going to miss this.
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