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Table of Contents:
- section 1.
- Getting started
- Introduction
- ch. 1.
- Learning to parent our children and ourselves
- ch. 2. The
- hunger for stimulation, recognition, and certainty
- section. 2.
- Nurture : the gentle side of care
- -
- ch. 3.
- Nurture - what it is and why we need it
- Nurture chart
- ch. 4.
- Assertive care and supportive care : alike but different
- ch. 5.
- Life examples of the nurture chart
- ch. 6.
- When love doesn't stick
- ch. 7.
- Nurturing other adults and ourselves
- section 3.
- Structure : the firm side of care
- ch. 8.
- Structure - what it is and why we need it
- Structure chart
- ch. 10.
- Negotiable and nonnegotiable rules : using rules as structure tools
- ch. 10. The
- lessons of discipline
- ch. 11.
- Life examples of the structure chart
- ch. 12. The
- Nurture/structure highway
- ch. 13.
- When parents disagree about rules
- ch. 14.
- Structure, shame, and victim blame
- ch. 15.
- Growing up again - a story of change
- section 4.
- Overindulgence : misguided nurture, inadequate structure
- ch. 16.
- Overindulgence
- ch. 17. The
- hazards of overindulgence
- ch. 18.
- Why parents overindulge
- ch. 19.
- What to do instead of overindulging
- Alternatives to overindulging chart
- section 5.
- Denial : the glue that keeps us stuck
- ch. 20.
- How we deny : the four levels of discounting
- Discounting chart
- ch. 21.
- Examples of the four levels of discounting
- Stop discounting, chart 2
- ch. 22.
- Stop the many ways of discounting
- Double-bind discounting, chart 3
- ch. 23.
- Problem solving : putting it all together
- Problem-solving worksheet
- section 6. The
- prenatal and birth experience
- ch. 24.
- Becoming : the prenatal and birth experience
- section 7.
- Growing up again and again
- ch. 25.
- Ages and stages
- Prenatal (becoming : conception to birth
- Stage 1 (being) : birth to six months
- Stage 2 (doing) : six months to eighteen months
- Stage 3 (thinking) : eighteen months to three years
- stage 4 (identity and power) : three years to six years
- Stage 5 (structure) : six years to twelve years
- Stage 6 (identity, sexuality, and separation) : twelve years to nineteen years
- Stage 7 (interdependence) : adults
- Stage 8 (integration) : towards death
- ch. 26.
- General activities for deliberately growing up again
- section 8.
- Adoption
- ch. 27.
- Adoption
- Adoption development chart
- appendix A.
- Tools for family growth
- Even and uneven parenting
- Using contracts
- Sample rules chart
- Getting free of double binds
- Encouraging responsibility through language
- Supporting spiritual growth through the early development stages
- appendix B.
- Tools for personal growth
- Developmental affirmations : how to use them with your family and yourself
- Seeing our own shields : a visualization
- Where to go for additional help.